Losing Your Hair With Style

By John Bach

Julie’s hair started falling out right on schedule.

Everything she had read indicated that it would take about two weeks — so just before her second treatment — for the follicles to begin to give up. You learn so many fascinating things when you go through breast cancer. One of those fun facts is that the chemo drugs are specifically formulated to attack fast-growing cells. That’s why your hair becomes a casualty in the fight. I’d say “friendly fire” but chemo doesn’t seem all that friendly at this point. At best the relationship is complicated, but we do have a common enemy.

I was at work when I received the panicked text. I called immediately. As much as she tried to prepare herself for losing her long beautiful brown hair, it was still a shock — like an audible gasp, followed by crying — when a slight tug left her holding a dozen or more strands. There’s no way to explain how helpless it feels to hear those sounds coming from your wife over the phone. That was Thursday afternoon, and by sundown that day, she was rocking the buzz cut.

A few weeks back, Julie said she wanted to experiment with some crazy hairstyles before losing her hair. Why not, right? It’s going to come out anyway, so go wild. She’s a big fan of the artist Pink, so that was one idea. She’s also always liked the ’90s Meg Ryan look. In the end, I think she chose not to go down that road in recent weeks because what if she loved it? Let’s not get even more attached to the hair,  then lose it. That would only make things worse.

While she may not have rocked the Pink look for very long, Julie did let Logan’s Mom have a little fun with her hair on the way down to the buzz cut. Sitting on our screened porch, surrounded by our girls, and with tears in her eyes, Julie found a way to smile as Stephanie chopped off gobs of hair at a time. Each time she arrived at a new look, I’d show her how she looked on my phone. I won’t be sharing the mullet, the Kim Jong Un or the Alfalfa looks.

Before we knew it, the clippers were out, and the Pink radical spike emerged. I’m glad I captured a few pictures along the way because in the end, she decided to cut it all off to dull the pain of losing it.

What we discovered is what we already knew. She’s beautiful no matter how much hair she does or doesn’t have. She’s gorgeous at every length. In fact, as it turns out, her hair might have been holding her eyes back. Man do they pop now. And the dimple. Well, nothing could hold the dimple back — except maybe that smile.

As it turns out, our girls witnessed a powerful truth — one they’ve heard their Mom voice many times.

Beauty isn’t defined by your appearance.