5 Blessings of Cancer
By John Bach
This morning it occurred to me that we are exactly a month since cancer took up residence in our home — more specifically in Julie’s left breast. For some ridiculous reason, when I sat down to write in my journal I thought I should only write about all the ways that cancer has been good to us. After a month of focusing on all the ways cancer sucks, why not flip the script on cancer, right?
No. 1: Julie and I may be closer than ever. You know all the ways that life gets in the way of your marriage? Work, daily routines, social media, TV, chores, projects. None of that matters all that much right now. Sure, some of the things on this list are still getting done, but none of them have the priority or importance they once did. We are spending more time just being quiet together, going on walks, holding hands or just looking into one another’s eyes. Cancer has an indiscriminate way of shifting your priority list from inside the chemo suite. This past May we celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary, and our big plan was supposed to be a week-long September drive down the West Coast together. Cancer isn’t as romantic as that, but it sure brings a new kind of intimacy to your relationship when you realize you could simply be fighting for more time with the person you’ve built your life with. Sometimes you have to have all your distractions and vulnerabilities stripped away to realize what truly matters. Thanks cancer.
No. 2: Family perspective shifts. Our girls have rallied around their Mom like crazy. I’m certain they appreciate her more now than they did a month ago. Cancer has a powerful way of reminding families how vulnerable they are. The hugs linger longer now. Our time when we are all together feels more precious. This is a lifelong reminder for all of us not to take family for granted. Way to go Big C.
No. 3: Friendships matter more. The outpouring of support and love from our friends has been outrageous. The visits, the meals, the cards, the flowers, the homemade quilt for crying out loud. The texts and phone calls and prayers. All of it has reminded Julie and I how much friendship is needed. Even relationships that were seemingly crumbling in the COVID era are being restored because of cancer. Not to mention, Julie is connecting with new people and building bonds with other survivors who are stepping into her life in such a loving way. Cancer did that, too.
No. 4: A new puppy. I was, of course, dead set against the Bach family getting a second dog. I mean, come on. It was common sense. We are crazy busy, and we don’t have time to take care of two dogs. Cancer changed that, too. These are the breaks when your wife gets cancer right before her birthday. Was I really going to say no to the Golden Doodle? Now we have this bunny-soft snuggly puppy who really just likes to warm your soul with cuteness. Yep, Cancer gave us Frankie, too.
No. 5: Honesty. I set out to write The 5 Blessings of Cancer, but if I’m being truthful I’m tapped out after four. I’m sure God will reveal more perspective-shifting things along our journey. After all, we wouldn’t want cancer getting all big-headed, and it certainly doesn’t seem to need my help making new friends.
