Sometimes you stay in bed all day on a Saturday

By John Bach

Not since recovering from the birth of one of our girls, can I remember Julie not leaving our bedroom for an entire day, especially a Saturday.

But that’s what happened yesterday. It was one of the most refreshing and beautiful days of the year. An overnight storm escorted in the crisp and cool fall air into Cincinnati. 

Normally, this is a day that we would pile into our Highlander to go pick apples or traipse through some pumpkin patch as a family. But instead of holding my wife’s hand at a fall festival, I served her breakfast, lunch and dinner in bed. 

And that’s OK.

This week during Julie’s chemotherapy treatment at the Barrett Cancer Center, Dr. Elyse Lower said something incredibly freeing in just two words: “Stop that.”

Julie was expressing her frustration at losing some of her independence. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard her say these words in recent weeks: “I should be able to do this,” she says, referring to her inability to do normal daily activities.

Only problem is, these are anything but normal times. I’ve often had to remind her of the obvious. “You have cancer, and your body is going through a lot right now,” I tell her.

Dr. Lower said that she needed to give herself permission to take a break and to stop beating herself up about it. “It’s ok if you don’t feel like doing anything,” she said. “That’s normal. Your body is telling you something, and you need to listen.”

We had no idea what to expect during chemo, but after several treatments we now know a couple things for certain.

No. 1. Nausea is for real.

No. 2. When she isn’t feeling nauseated, it is because she’s taking the nausea meds.

Only problem is that the nausea meds sap her energy and make her want to sleep. So it becomes a choice between two poor choices. Feel sick or feel tired.

One of the veteran nurses at the treatment center told us that it used to be pretty common for patients to give up on chemotherapy because they couldn’t handle all the vomiting.

“They didn’t used to come back,” he told us.

Think about that. They chose the cancer over the treatment. We are incredibly fortunate that modern medicine allows an alternative.

And sometimes that means you stay in bed all day on a Saturday because, well, that’s all you can do that day.